To Grandmother’s House We Go…

Many families are traveling over the river and through the woods to reach Grandmother’s (and Grandfather’s) house this holiday season.  It is a tradition held by many families – gathering at an elder’s home to carry on holiday festivities.  While the thought of everyone together under one roof may seem like a joyous time to visit, reminisce, and create new memories, it can often be one of the most stressful times of the year for senior adults.

Jim Booth, CEO of CK Franchising, Inc., the franchisor of the Comfort Keepers^® system, notes, “Most seniors become entrenched in their own quiet-but-steady routines as they grow older, and the disruption of an established, daily schedule can cause confusion and anxiety.”  Booth would know, as Comfort Keepers® is one of the nation’s largest in-home care provider networks for seniors and other adults.  A leader in its industry, Comfort Keepers® knows that sometimes even the hustle and bustle of company for a day can be exhausting for seniors.  These times can be equally stressful for caregivers of seniors who are expecting company over the holidays.  However, there are several strategies that, when incorporated within holiday plans, pave the way for a stress-free time for all. 

Plan to share holiday meal preparations.   For grandparents, the feeling of having to prepare an entire meal for many people can be overwhelming.  The thought of cleaning the kitchen afterward may be downright depressing for any caregiver.  A way to alleviate this pressure is to coordinate with other guests by asking them to bring a traditional holiday dish from their pasts for all to enjoy.  Assigning clean-up duty in advance and taking turns with others will allow all to participate equally in work and play. 

Be sure to schedule quiet time for all.  This is especially important if small children are participating in holiday activities.  Many older adults are not used to the otherwise endearing antics of children, and initiating quiet time by taking the kids out of the house or putting them down for a rest provides the senior valuable downtime.  If napping is part of a senior’s daily routine, continuing to do so is important to maintain a happy and healthy body and mind.

Limit gift giving or replace this tradition with sentimental alternatives.  Many seniors living on limited budgets may worry that purchasing presents at Christmas may not fall within their monetary limits.  Instead of purchasing gifts, ask family members to write down a memory from the past to share.  This memory can pertain to family traditions, a specific event, or be a simple reflection of who they are because of growing up within that family.  Large families often draw names instead of purchasing gifts for everyone.  Simple ideas such as these also steer the holiday spirit in the direction of the holiday itself, instead of focusing on gift-giving.

Keep an eye on your loved one.  Sometimes it takes a special eye to notice that a senior is feeling displaced, overly tired, or in need of something special to do.  Assign someone in the family to keep watch over your loved one to be sure their needs are being met. 

Ask for help!  If you are a primary caregiver for the senior in your life, consider hiring a respite care provider such as Comfort Keepers® to allow you to focus on holiday preparations in your own home. Their caregivers are available to help perform light housekeeping duties, grocery shopping and even help address holiday cards and arrange decorations.  Having help with the “small stuff” can be a great relief, allowing seniors and family caregivers to look forward to the holiday festivities instead of feeling overburdened.

When making plans to visit with elderly loved ones over the holidays, consideration of even the smallest detail is essential.  Communicate clearly and honestly with your loved ones and their caregivers about seniors’ needs and limitations.  Keep in mind that many plans can be altered subtly, so seniors do not realize special provisions are being made for them. A bit of thought and careful preparation minimizes stress so that holidays can be fun and enjoyed by all! 

References:
^{Comfort Keepers.  (2009). From Stress to Success. (Holiday Flyer).
Morris, Kelly.  Associated Content.  (2007).  An Elderly Caregiver’s Guide to Coping with Holiday Stress.  http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/429876/an_elderly_caregivers_guide_to_coping.html?singlepage=true&cat=72
Race, Brenda.  Coping with Holidays as a Caregiver.  http://www.caregiver.com/articles/holiday/coping_with_holidays.htm}