Caregiving Across the Miles

You did it!  You grew up, became successful, started a family of your own, and moved out…states away, even, from your Mom and Dad.  You visit from time to time and keep in touch by talking on the phone and emailing pictures of grandchildren, and possibly great grandchildren, on a regular basis. 

As your parents grow older, though, a realization may hit home – they may require more help than they used to in terms of both physical and emotional support.  If you live far away, it can be very hard to provide the type of support and care they need.  Not only is this frustrating for you, it can become frightening to your loved one. 

If you are attempting to care for a loved one from afar, rest assured you are not alone.  As one of the leading in-home care companies for adults, Comfort Keepers® has recognized this challenge exists in many families and has devised a simple, yet important, list of ways to make caregiving from afar as easy as possible.

• Communicate.  Realize that Mom or Dad may not want to worry you with their problems or health issues.  Discuss this with them and make them understand how important it is that they be completely open and honest with you about their lives.  Also, call them often!  You do not need to discuss important issues with them every time…just call to chat and keep each other in the loop of your daily lives.  Talking often about day-to-day events fosters a closeness that you will treasure and also makes it easier to discuss critical matters as they arise.
• Ask for help.  Taking care of aging parents from thousands of miles away may require assistance.  Comfort Keepers offers a wide variety of services that can help parents like your own.  From grocery shopping and preparing meals to cleaning their house and trips to the doctor’s office – a Comfort Keeper® , the name we call our caregivers, can assist your parents with many tasks, as well as provid company and companionship when you can’t be there.
• Keep track of their specifics.  It is important for you to know certain things about your parents.  For example: social security numbers, who their doctor(s) is, the name of their attorney, or any other important information.  Also, knowing their dates and places of birth, who their creditors are, what assets and investments they hold, etc., can help you navigate numerous matters that may arise, especially if they become victims of fraud.  This information is also essential for you to know if you end up having to help your parents manage money.
• Make friends with your parents’ friends.  Doing so allows you to feel comfortable picking up the phone to contact them in case of an emergency or just to check to see how your parents are faring from another person’s perspective.
• Introduce yourself to health care providers.  It can make a difference for these professionals to know your parents have strong family support and involvement, especially if you live far away.  Make sure your parents list you as a person allowed to discuss their health issues.  Even if a local family member or friend is the initial emergency contact, you are merely a phone call away and can make decisions about their health care from afar.

Caregiving from a long distance can be emotionally draining and incredibly fulfilling at the same time.  Use this list as a basic blue print of ways you can help, and add to this list other things that may help your unique situation.  Instead of feeling guilty that you are not close by, concentrate your energy in the more positive direction of doing what you can to the best of your ability.  Facing challenges with a positive and pro-active approach makes long-distance caregiving easier for all involved.